The Italian Non-Lover

For this blog entry, I chose to evaluate a friend’s long distance relationship that, surprisingly, was initiated on Skype a month ago. I was curious about how Wallace’s Attraction Factors and McKenna’s relationship facilitation factors would apply in a more working type relationship.

According to Wallace, in most face to face relationships, physical attractiveness could be considered the most salient factor in relationship formation. In the case of my friend, the sequence of relationship formation based on appearance and then getting to know the other person did not occur. My friend created a profile on Skype that contains a hyperlink to her website and no personal photo, because she hopes to attract attention to her professional achievements and to meet people with similar interests. After a man from Milan viewed her work on her website, he contacted her by IM and provided her with his website (also no photo) and multiple helpful tutorials. She found his work to be highly professional. From her perspective, these tutorials are an amazing gift because after working in the field a few years, she knows few resources with his proficiency. She has therefore assessed his personality as very agreeable and conscientious but has formed no opinion about his neuroticism, extroversion or openness. This small breadth and large intensity personality judgment is consistent with the results of the Hancock and Dunham experiment in 2001 supporting the Hyperpersonal Model (Walther). Absolutely, both used selective self presentation in their impression management.

In reference to McKenna’s Relationship Facilitation factor “getting the goods” they were both able to view an extensive representation of each other’s work before continuing the relationship. Also by viewing each other’s websites, they realize that in terms of McKenna’s gating feature “status,” they have approximately the same level of education and experience.

Although, this man lives in Italy, and my friend lives in New York, they are able to connect frequently online through Skype and exchange ideas. The success of this business relationship lies in the intersection frequency. As they are able to communicate often via Skype, they could in theory connect to each other whenever they like. Their field does not require a physically close proximity in order to exchange information, as most of the work is done on the computer.

At the onset, common ground (Wallace) and connecting to similar others (McKenna) is the focal point of this relationship. Moreover, because they have limited information in which to base impression formation, the proportions of shared attitudes is extremely high. Law of attraction would predict a positive relationship.

The visual anonymity in IM modality has a disinibition effect (Wallace) and according to Mc Kenna minimizes the physical attractiveness gating feature. Deciding not to judge a coworker based on physical appearance could promote the development of an emphasis on talent in a working environment, and an appreciation for certain people that in a normal working condition would not have attracted as much attention either due to their respective appearance, self-presentation, or their non-verbal communication. Visual anonymity can lead to an increase in professional honesty.

Although both have only disclosed a few pieces of personal information such as age, marriage status and number of siblings, McKenna’s “stranger on the train” identifiability factor would predict a greater level of disclosure. Moreover, Tidwell and Walther 2002 found that those who anticipate a long term relationship were found to self disclose more. Possibly, their relationship may not have progressed to that point or possibly there is a language barrier. (It is obvious from his poor sentence structure that he has some difficulty with English.)

Even though they are both in their twenties and unmarried, my friend has no desire for romance or intent of switching modality. Both are motivated to enhance their knowledge and obtain potential job connections. My prediction for their future relationship would be long standing, positive and not mixed modality.